Chris Benard

Chris Benard is a software developer in the Dallas area specializing in payments processing, medical claims processing, and Windows/Web services.

  • Greg Came to Town Tonight (And Alan Too)

    Alan, Greg, and Chris(me) in front of my projection screenGreg (Facebook) was in town for Christmas and brough Alan (Facebook) to my house. We played Xbox 360 for a while and then watched part of Trading Spouses from episodes that my roommate had downloaded. It was the one with the crazy christian lady who’s screaming “SHE’S NOT A CHRIS-CHUN!!!” and “GARGOYLES!!!” and “DARK SIDED STUFF!!!”. Man, I just can’t get enough of that episode. It was really good to see Greg and Alan (only Greg) and not have parmesean cheese involved. Thanks for coming by guys!

    Greg is leaving tonight to go back to Houston, but I plan on going there for Easter to watch his play he’s written about an android hobo living among us, collecting our change to finance his creator’s hostile world takeover. No, that’s not a joke; it’s just how creative Greg is. Do NOT question him, EVER.


  • Blogging Christmas 2005

    Galileo ThermometerWell, I had fun this Christmas. I got that neat Galileo thermometer that is over there on the left. My mom said something like, “I wasn’t sure how it worked, but it looked pretty nerdy, so I figured you’d like it”. I didn’t get much else in the way of presents except cash, gift certificates, and food from relatives, but my parents did forgive quite a bit of debt that I owe them ($100 of the $450 I owe for 4 new tires I had to buy for my Expedition).

    I bought my mom a hanging hammock chair, by Hammaka. Here’s a picture of her sitting in it. She likes it a lot, and has already spent a great deal of time in it. Today was a pretty nice day for sitting outside and we did. I bought my dad The Lexus and the Olive Tree: Understanding Globalization by Thomas L. Friedman. He’s an awesome author and I read The World is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century. That was and awesome book, and I’m sure the one I bought my dad will be just as good.


  • Best Buy Mismanagement and Drag Pictures

    Did the “Drag Pictures” get your attention? Good. 😉 Those pictures are at the end of this post. Read the rest of it before you get to those.

    Dave Anderson has written a good writeup of a typical Best Buy customer service experience. He and I both worked in the computer area at Best Buy for quite a while. I worked in “Services” for the duration of my employment, now Geek Squad. Dave worked in Computer Sales, and then Services. Dave and I always gave good service, and I’m not trying to say the people in the store are not helpful, because a lot of them are (Katie, Ian, etc).

    The problem lies in the fact that Best Buy, the corporation, seems to not have good communication within the corporate levels. The people in the stores may be willing to help you, but they are having to fight the infrastructure to attempt it. Dave and I both personally know about this.

    Anyway, go read his posts on his blog (first, second). He will update it as the story unfolds, but long story short, they sent off his laptop to get it fixed, and it came back to another cutomer’s house and then made it next to impossible to get it back. He still hasn’t been able to get it back. They also screwed up the PSP information which expired while they were working on it.

    Also, if you really want to see something funny, check out these pictures of managers and other people at our store dressed in drag. I’d tell the story behind that, but it’s more humorous if I don’t.


  • Merry Christmas Food at Work

    I’m lucky to work with a bunch of women who bring food to work all the time. We’re having one of our office parties. I always cop out by buying a 12-pack or two of Diet Cokes. I scored big time today. I got a chocolate bar, coffee mug with Hershey’s Kisses and Swiss Miss, homemade banana bread, and a lottery ticket from our CFO, Debbie. In that last link, my boss Jay makes an appearance too.

    Also, a huge thanks to Ashley (middle desk) for making some of her circular noodles and sauce stuff for me. I love that stuff. What a great present!

    My Christmas Food at Work
    Merry Christmas Food!

    It makes having to work today almost worth it.


  • Just got back from Game Night

    I just got back from Jennifer’s (Facebook, Myspace) apartment. She has game night on Wednesday for friends and other people. I got a Christmas present!!! Jennifer gave me these pictures in a frame. Christmas came early this year!

    We played Apples to Apples. If you’ve not played this game, I think it is probably one of, if not the, best party games around. It’s really hard to explain and make it sound fun, but I assure you it is. I’ll write a detailed post about it later, but basically you match green cards, which are adjectives, to red cards, which are nouns. You try to pick the best noun so the person will pick your word. Object is to get the most green cards. It’s totally awesome and here’s a picture of us playing Apples to Apples last week.


  • Customizing the Kubrick (Default) theme for WordPress

    Here’s a catchup for some people. WordPress is the software that runs this blog. Kubrick is the default theme that comes with it. You’ve probably seen it on a million blogs and on this one. However, I wanted to customize mine with darker colors, like some of my previous designs. I also wanted to have my picture up in the header part and again, darker colors.

    I thought I was going to have to open photoshop and try to individually change the rasterized images since I didn’t have any vector files (psd) to work with, but thankfully some guy (he didn’t put his name on his blog) created a PSD version of the Kubrick theme, including rasterized and vector layers. Naturally I went with the premade vector layers, overlaid a new image on top of it, and about 10 minutes later, I had the theme I had always dreamed of. Thanks “some guy”!

    In other news, I got my roommate Courtney to start a blog. He wasn’t using his domain for anything except email, so I set up wordpress and a nice theme for him too. I even photoshopped his picture onto the green hillside 🙂 He couldn’t help but use it, after I did all the work.


  • I hate Overstock.com

    Update: They did sell out of that stupid thing I bought. I wouldn’t have been able to believe that I could hate them more. They gave me a $5.00 coupon toward a future purchase, but even including that, I had to spend $15 more in order to get an item similar to the one I wanted to buy.

    Sure, Overstock might lure you in with their ads featuring a seductive austrian woman prancing about in a white wonder world of online commerce, but what really awaits you on the web site? I hate Overstock.com. Don’t get me wrong, I shop there, but I hate it the same way I hate Wal-Mart, and I hate it too, but for different reasons. Read on to see why I hate Overstock.com.
    (more…)


  • LOST – 4 8 15 16 23 42 EXECUTE

    If you know what that means, more than likely you’re a fan of LOST too.  I was recently introduced to LOST after prodding from someone I met via Facebook, which I will discuss later. I had heard lots of people tell me about it, but I am naturally skeptical of new shows. My roommate told me to watch it, and he acquired all of the old episodes, but I declined. I didn’t care about a show with a main plot device of a plane crash. I’ve seen that, and it was a movie; Cast Away. Read on for the reasons why LOST is the best show ever.
    (more…)


  • Banana flavored popsicles are delicious

    If you know me well, you might know that I love banana flavored anything, and I especially love Budget $aver Banana Popsicles. This company is great; they make one product, popsicles. They have a nice history writeup of their company on their webpage and little sob story on the back of every package:

    You are very important to our small company. We are trying to make the best tasting banana water ice pops that we possibly can. We are also trying to keep our price as low as possible.

    If you have an idea, or don’t feel you have received your money’s worth, please call TOLL FREE weekdays 9-4 eastern time at 1-800-322-3642 or visit our website at www.budgetsaver.com and let us know.

    Thank you for trying Budget $aver®.

    I’ve never felt like a company was talking to me before when I’ve looked at the back of their package, so I thought I’d pass it on. Their banana flavored popsicles are delicious, and extremely inexpensive. I paid $1.50 plus tax for 18 packs of the “water ice pops”, each containing two “pops”. 4 cents per “pop” is a steal, and you can get them at Wal-Mart and Brookshire’s, at least around here.


  • Working on the weekend sucks

    I’ve known for a while that I was going to have to come in on the weekend. It was supposed to be last week, but it got pushed back. We had to deploy a new version of our practice management software, and the vendor doesn’t have the ability to push it out as an msi. We (two coworkers and I; the other coworker skipped out) had to go touch each machine., and that’s a huge, tedious time killer. No overtime, no comp time; I’m salaried.

    I automated the large majority of it, so all we had to do was make sure it got to each machine. I still don’t like going to work for 4 hours on a Saturday. I’m getting to be quite the VBScript master, automating a large amount of tasks via active directory.

    I need to go finish season 2 of LOST, the best show ever. I think that was my first personal blog post ever. Wish me luck. Working on the weekend sucks.


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