Accepting Applications For My New Programmer Friend

Accepting Applications For My New Programmer Friend

Much like Steven Colbert and his new black friend campaign, applications for my new programmer friend are now being accepted. I’ve lost my existing one when he met someone from myspace when the person moved back to Shreveport. Now, plans are being broken without notifying me, I’m not invited to places, and/or I’m never involved in conversation because such conversations are always (and I don’t mean continually; I mean continuously) being had with the previously mentioned myspace person (whom I’ve met and is a perfectly nice person) via phone or text. I don’t know what his deal is anymore.

Therefore, I’m accepting applications to be my new programmer friend via the comments section in this post. Please include your friend resume addressing the following requirements and desired qualifications.


  • Must be proficient in .Net (Preferably C#, but I will entertain VB.Net)
  • Must be of above average intelligence
  • Must passionately care for the English language and be willing to be corrected and willing to correct me when needed
  • Must be local to the Shreveport, LA area
  • Must like Chinese movies (the kind where the hero dies in the end and is usually subtitled unless on DVD)
  • Must not have a bubbly personality
  • Must not be moving any time soon (since I don’t want to help another programmer friend move again, to cut my possible losses)

Desired qualifications:

  • Familiar with one or more other programming technologies as well (PHP, RoR, VB6, C++, Java, etc)
  • Remembers what it was like to use DOS 6.22 (or at least know how to use most DOS commands such as nslookup, ping, tracert, and each command’s associated options)
  • Comfortable with networking technologies (TCP/IP, OSI Model, DNS, DHCP, etc)
  • Knowledgeable about Microsoft Windows Server 2003 technologies (active directory, NTFRS, DFS, etc)
  • Doesn’t play WoW (I can live with it if you do, I just don’t want to hear about WoW all the time)

There is no cut off date. I will make a decision when I have selected from available candidates. This post will be updated when applications are no longer being accepted.

Thank you in advance for submitting your application via the comments section attached to this post.

Equal opportunity programmer friend. Perl programmers need not apply.

Author: Chris Benard

Chris Benard is a software developer in the Dallas area specializing in payments processing, medical claims processing, and Windows/Web services.