Chris Benard

If you want the quick answer, skip to the last sentence. Otherwise, read the dramatic tale of my first taste of Coke Zero below.

Tonight, after my quiz in CHEM124, while waiting for the other students to turn in their quiz, I hurried downstairs to grab what I believed to be a delicious Diet Coke.

Diet Coke and Coke Zero bottles look almost identical. They had them both beside each other, and by the time I had selected B7 instead of B5, it was too late. The stupid conveyor belt was rising to collect my coke (as pictured in the evil machine to the right). I tried everything. I pressed “CLR”. I pressed the return change button. I hit the machine. I cursed at the machine. Nothing could undo what I had done.

Stuck with the Coke Zero and crying a small bit inside, I returned dejected to my third floor class. It took a while to muster the courage to try my first sip of Coke Zero. I must say, I was not optimistic about it, because they say it “tastes more like regular Coke”. I HATE regular Coke; it’s the worst drink ever. I took my first sip. Still having Bubble Tape in my mouth, which I’ve previously mentioned is the best gum ever, I couldn’t get an accurate taste test. I took out my gum and tried again. At first I thought, “Not bad. Not as good as Diet Coke, but not as bad as regular Coke”. I was wrong. After my next few sips, I couldn’t help hating myself a little for creating a cost rationale for my continued ingestion of this new substance. I ended up not being able to finish it. Coca-Cola, I want you to know, I now hate you. I’m still addicted to Diet Coke, so you win this round, but seriously, stop making new products. Just stop it.

I hate regular Coke. Coke Zero tastes more like regular Coke.